Both Nancy and I felt slightly uncomfortable flying into Sioux Falls last week.  It was irrational for us to feel anything but happiness at being able to see our parents, siblings, friends, and of course Conrad Messner (our beloved dog).  If you’d pressed us I don’t think we could have put into words why we felt as we did.

10 days later we find ourselves living in a world that we don’t feel entirely comfortable in.  We’re living apart. I’m with my parents and as a result of her cat allergies Nancy’s living with Ann, a great friend.  We get together every day and go for a long walk to discuss how we can find a way to balance the financial necessities of our new life, our love for our families, and the feeling in our guts that we are not where we belong.  Or rather that we don’t fit in as we once did.

We’ve gotten accustomed to 6 mile walks to the grocery store.  To garbage lying everywhere.  To searching constantly for the material possessions we take for granted here in the States.  We’ve grown accustomed to seeing new sights.  To making new friends.  To dinner for two for $8.  And to seeing, hearing, and feeling the greatness of the ocean all around us.  We’d gotten to the place in our relationship where we were content to just sit in each others presence and read a book or stare at the horizon for hour upon hour.  We woke when we were rested, ate when we were hungry. We had conversations until the wee hours with friends who looked at you when you talked and actually listened.  Not distracted by kids, television, unread e-mails, or phones ringing we got to know people…not just idle chit chat with both parties constantly checking for voicemails or thinking about what they had to do tomorrow.

Now, back home in the place I’ve lived since I was 19 years old, I feel unsatisfied and overstimulated.  Everyone’s house seems full of stuff and noise and lights and air conditioning, and it’s stressful just being in them. Onboard Oblivion, things are ship-shape.  There’s a place for everything and everything in it’s place.  We used to live in the sea air 100% of the time. Now we feel like prisoners…we can’t constantly see the sun and sky…and the air conditioning everywhere is killing me.   I’ve got the sniffles all the time, and headaches.  Those were absent during our time aboard Oblivion.

I am at a loss as to how to find a balance in my life.  I know Nancy feels the same way.  I want to go back and yet I want to have dinner with my parents and have a beer with my friends.  I want to see dolphins racing underneath Oblivions bow and I want to go for a walk with Conrad.  I want to sleep in a comfortable bed and at the same time I want to crawl into my little berth and pass out, covered in salt and exhausted from a long day of sailing.  I want to go have dinner at Spezia and I want the satisfaction I get from bracing myself in a moving kitchen and cooking a cup of ramen noodles without spilling boiling water all over myself.

Any idea how I can convince everyone I know to move aboard Oblivion with us? I’m open to suggestions.

Jeff